Sometimes in life, we are suddenly thrown big decisions that we know will impact the course of the rest of our lives. We don't always know exactly how to handle these situations because they weren't anything that we had expected or planned for. So often, we feel like we are drowning in fear and hesitation because we do not want our pain to be spread to others in the process of choosing what is most healthy for ourselves. It seems impossible to decide what to do because we know that there will be consequences for everyone involved.
This is when we have to remember: climb into the boat or drown in the waves.
None of us can change another person... that is something that they have to decide for themselves and do the work to accomplish. We can, however, choose to change ourselves and work every day for a better, healthier life. When others insist that you stay in the turbulent waters with them, climb into the boat anyway. You can really only help once you are safely inside, and only if they are willing to climb in with you. It does no one any good for both of you to drown.
In my own life, I have had to learn this lesson repeatedly; most recently, in some of my personal relationships. After years of trying to push loved ones into wellness ahead of me or trying to drag them alongside me, I realized that I have to focus on meeting my own needs first, and then I can gently invite those people into a healthier, deeper relationship with me by setting a good example and standing firm in my boundaries. Whether or not they accept this invitation is entirely up to them. The result is that I am living in peace and freedom for the first time in my life.
Now that I am safely inside the boat, I have no fear of drowning. While it is so very sad to see people who I care about choose not to step inside, that does not change my decision. I release them to God and pray that they will heed his gentle voice calling them to get into the boat before it is too late.
Climb into the boat, my friends. Live in freedom and peace.
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